growing up is hard to do
As I sit in my half-packed apartment surrounded by stacks of bills, sealed boxes of trinkets and the last items in the pending packing process one thing comes to mind: growing up means ever-growing responsibility. When does it happen? It feels like someone played a cruel joke on us all sometimes. With everything going on in the world, my little blunders and troubles don't seem like anything but becoming an adult means that you are suddenly thrust into a realm of realism that is neither expected or desired most of the time.
But, like all that have come before us, we deal. We should all be contestants on "Deal or No Deal" since that's what we are forced to do against our free will every day of our lives. I'm not complaining, simply making an observation about the sudden progression from being "just a stupid kid" to being seen as "an adult" who needs to have it all together.
Well, I feel like I do. Most of the time. But then there are those days. Those moments of lows, lulls of enthusiasm and self-motivation that creates this sudden angst over being alone, as an adult, in this world. I don't know what to do all the time and I feel like venting a bit, so here it is.
There's always stuff to get done, bills that are due, each and every day comes new responsibilities, tough decisions that could ultimately change the entire direction of your life. We make these life altering decisions and choices every day. Some of us, without a counsel of peers to back us or give us a celebratory cheer. Others, only after those friends are questioned. For me, I make lists of the things that need to be done.
Along with moving at the end of the month, yet another move for little miss nomad... I always feel the sole pressure of being productive, being selfless and somehow hopefully helping others in the process of my own mess, and learning to love and live to love myself.
This election and the economic climate makes me think now more than ever that we are all in the same boat. I know that we might not be in actuality, but it makes me feel better knowing that my struggle isn't in vain and not in isolation. I know we all feel how I feel. And like the world around us, it gets better. If there's one thing I have learned in my time here, living and being a pupil in this place it's that we get through it. In the words of Barack, YES WE CAN!
